Well, I finished my essay as I said I would. However, when I went back to re-read it, I wasn’t happy with it. I started editing. After all, this essay will be part of my admission packet. It needs to be perfect. Reveal enough to let the administrators know that I am a well-rounded, solid, intelligent, thoughtful, person, well suited for life as a counselor; not enough to let them see that I am at times a neurotic, needy, blubbering mess. Striking the balance is rather tricky. To be honest, I was proud of the essay I wrote, and ready to submit it for posterity’s sake … except for one of the four sections: self-awareness. What do they mean by self-awareness? Just how much self-awareness do “they“ want from me? Do I write about the bad, the ugly, the painful experiences of my life? The problem is that I could give too much information, more than anyone wants. Do I write about unconditional love and acceptance, growing up with no problems, being exceptionally wise? Nah…too Pollyannaish, too saccharine. “They” would never believe it anyway. What to do.
I edited this one section many times. I finally wrote about growing up in an average, middle class home with a fair amount of hills and valleys to navigate. I decided to just tell them I was no more or no less messed up than anyone else on this planet. When I finished, it looked good to me, so I submitted the essay, and now I can relax.
NOT! Now there are forms to fill out for the place I interviewed earlier this week. Background checks have to be conducted before a job can be offered. Glad they don’t get to read my personal essay for graduate school!