I’m still trying to figure out what I’m supposed to blog about every day. This 30 day challenge is too nebulous for my liking, not enough definition.
Should I treat this like a journal? Not really. If I am journaling, there are things I want to write about without the world watching over my shoulder. Recorded thoughts in a journal are for my eyes alone. Journaling is a way of working out one’s life, purging that which makes us ill, and nurturing that which leads to health and well-being. However, I really don’t want the world to be privy to that process and my privacy. Also, when I journal I am quite adolescent in my writing: complain, kvetch, whine whine whine. Who wants the world to see that? I’ve spent a great deal of time figuring out how to establish personal boundaries, what to make public, what to keep private. We all have a right to some privacy, even in this age of social networking. (Do I really need to know that Aunt Matilda missed the toilet and you are the one who has to clean up the mess?)
I am the kind of person who functions best when given the parameters of an assignment and a deadline to meet. Inwardly, I cringe when required to set my own agenda. Yes, I am still a people pleaser after all these years, which means I have to know what pleases people before I can act. Oy vey! Until now, I have needed an external monitor to motivate me to action. Yet, I will be the first to say that I wish it weren’t so! Becoming my own boss/teacher/manager is a primary reason for participating in the 30 day experiment. Writing is a joy in many ways. At times, writing is also a bit of a drudge.
What will I write about today? In my heart I know that this question is not the real question that stumps me, it’s just the first “acceptable” question that surfaces. The real question is do I have the guts, the courage, or maybe the stupidity to write what I really want to write? I don’t yet have an answer to that question. I am a private person in many ways. Spilling my brains all over a blog does not seem to be a healthy thing to do. That’s why there is therapy. I’ve been in therapy. I know how it works. I may very well be in therapy again before this is finished. Who knows? But a blog? To use this as my therapy session is not healthy. That one thing I do know.
So, what do I blog about? Where is the line that divides the private from the public, what is good to share, what is better left unsaid, or in this case, unwritten. Hopefully I’m working it out. It seems that my main objective is to share life experiences and lessons learned. We can all relate to that, I hope. Personally, I have appreciated the many people who have shared their hard earned wisdom with me. It helps to know the struggles, defeats and successes of our sisters and brothers. The stories of their experiences and the lessons they learned help guide me in the choices I make. My hope is to pass on my lessons, through this blog, and possibly provide hope and support for some of you on your journey to health and wholeness.
Time has run out for me today. Other projects demand my attention. More will be written about this, I’m sure. However, before I sign off, I welcome your responses. I am truly interested in your take on this subject and look forward to reading your comments